If you love someone, set them free. If they come back to you, they’re yours. If they don’t, take out billboards around the country trying to shame them into realizing that you’re more important than their wedding vows.

That seems to be the logic used by YaVaughnie Wilkins, the mistress of tycoon Charles E. Phillips who, when dumped, spent a small fortune on billboards around Manhattan — not to mention similar ones in Atlanta and San Francisco — designed to humiliate the man for breaking her heart.

Proving that men really don’t see things the same way as women, Phillips told the New York Post that since he and Wilkins ended their 8-year relationship, they “wish each other well.”

Really? Damn, I’d hate to see what she does to people she doesn’t like!

Did I mention that there’s also a website — http://wwwcharlesphillipsandyavaughniewilkins.com (I can’t believe that was still available!) — at which the curious can see evidence of the pair’s love affair? (Whatcha wanna bet his wife, Karen, has the site bookmarked?)

According to the paper’s report, Phillips’ wife filed for divorce in 2008, but never followed through. The couple reunited, and YaVaughnie was, in the words of the paper, “kicked to the curb.” 

Given both YaVaughnie’s name and flair for the dramatic, it probably won’t come as a surprise to anyone that she is supposedly a “writer/actor.” It probably will also come as no surprise that it’s tough to find any evidence of her ever having done either.

A more cynical man than I might suggest that she was looking for publicity. Or maybe she’s just hoping to shame him into recognizing that he’s the love of her life.

Yeah, I’m gonna go with the first option.

 

 

“Treason” isn’t a word that should be tossed around lightly, but it might best describe what is happening on a near-daily basis on the Fox News Channel, whose motto is “fair and balanced” despite their Senior Vice President for Programming’s declaration that they are “the voice of the opposition” where the Obama administration is concerned.

 

For some time, it’s been clear to most rational Americans that Fox News commentators in general – and Glenn Beck in particular – are more entertainers than true believers in the stream of fear-mongering, fringe-friendly drivel they put forth each night. But at a certain point, one has to wonder where the line is crossed.

 

 

Several nights ago on THE O’REILLY FACTOR, Fox News contributor Monica Crowley accused the President of the United States of America of wanting to see its citizens die in order to forward his own agenda.

 

She said, in part, “I think President Obama is a true believer. What I mean by that is that he is a disciple of Saul Alinsky… who was a radical, who believed in the radical remaking of America by shattering its very foundations. I believe that President Obama… has taken that to heart.”

 

When host Bill O’Reilly said, “But he can’t want Americans to be killed!” Crowley countered with, “How else do you explain his incredibly flaccid reactions to… attacks against the United States?”

 

That’s right, a Fox News commentator suggested that President Obama wants citizens of this country to be killed by extremists as part of his “radical agenda.”

 

Ladies and gentlemen, the line has been crossed.

 

 

 

Since the election of Barrack Obama, we have seen Fox News commentators literally call our president a racist (“I’m not saying he doesn’t like white people, I’m saying he has a problem. This guy is, I believe, a racist.” – Glenn Beck), put aside that pesky “fair and balanced” thing in order to openly support the so-called “tea party” movement and help blatantly spread misinformation about everything from his status as an American citizen to his attempts to push for healthcare reform.

 

 

Funk & Wagnall’s standard dictionary defines “treason” as “betrayal of one’s sovereign or government” and “treasonable” action as anything “of, involving, or characteristic of treason.” So one has to ask: When does a supposed news organization go from taking full advantage of its First Amendment right of free speech to, in word and deed, taking part in actions that can be seen as “a betrayal of one’s government” and therefore treasonous?

 

If the charge seems a bit heavy handed, keep in mind that it is one the network itself has had no trouble using to suit its own purpose. For example, Beck – reacting to a rumor that had already been discredited by the White House – said that President Obama and his administration had behaved in a manner “that borders on treason.” In fact, not once, but three times within the hour, Beck used the term “treason” in conjunction with the White House.

 

Another definition of treason is “the offense of attempting by overt acts to overthrow the government of the state to which the offender owes allegiance.” So how is one to take it as anything but treason when O’Reilly boasts that, “The conservative media is winning now. They’re damaging the president of the United States.”

 

There is, of course, one way in which this could all be viewed as something other than treason on the part of Fox News, and that is if their allegiance is to a government other than the one we have here in the United States. But that would mean that in the childhood tradition of “he who smelt it dealt it”, Fox News has cleverly been accusing Obama and his administration of being Nazi capitalists when, in fact, it’s all part of their own wicked plot to usher in a fascist regime. So which is it, Fox? Are you traitors to your country… or the ultimate in subversive commies?

 

 

 

 

EDITOR’S NOTE:
Given the frigid temps and raging winds outside my window, I thought it might be nice to get away from the frozen tundra that currently is New Jersey by heading back to Florida via a repost of one of this site’s most popular pieces ever.

 

If you’ve got people who love The Happiest Place On Earth hot under the collar, it might be time to evaluate your social skills or lack thereof. Because let’s face it… Walt Disney World is where millions of people go to escape their problems and be enveloped in the magic, and most of those folks are willing to do everything from shell out a small fortune to suspend their disbelief in order to have the best vacation possible.

 

But one fact even the most happy-go-lucky Disney lover eventually has to face is that no amoung of pixie dust can keep others from not only raining on their parade as it comes down Main Street USA, but then trying to poke their eyes out with an umbrella.  In fact, when asked to cite examples of bad behavior at the Disney theme parks, posters at Disboards.com – a site where fans gather to discuss anything and everything related to the House of Mouse — responded with nearly 500 messages. (It’s worth noting the discussion might have gone on indefinitely had not a few irony-challenged bad apples allowed their own bad behavior to get the thread shut down by moderators.)

It quickly became apparant that this topic was going to require more than one posting. So after touching on the rude, the crude and the socially unacceptable in this piece, there will be follow-ups to come on two the of hottest topics among Disney visitors: visitors with children vs. those without, and the never-ending battle between those who use wheelchairs or other assistive technology vs. their non-disabled brethren.

The Rude
One Line, No waiting: You know those long lines of people you see waiting to ride Space Mountain or Mission: Space? Fools! Every last one of them! Just ask any of those who figure “Why stand in line when I can just cut?” As one poster said, “My favorites are the people who have one member of their group stand in line and then, after the rest have gone off to get something to eat or ride another ride, come back and push their way up to where their place-holder is. And all along I thought everyone who wanted to get on the ride had to stand in line!”

Mary, Go ‘Round Me: Another oft-mentioned group are those who push and shove their way into a theater (such as the ones used for It’s Tough To Be A Bug in the Animal Kingdom or The Little Mermaid at Disney’s Hollywood Studio) only to then completely disregard instructions. Despite Cast Members (as Disney employees are called) specifically asking that all guests pick a row and move to the opposite end in order to accomodate as many guests as possible, these folks inevitably plop themselves down in the middle of a row… and then grouse about those forced to climb over them to get to seats on the other side.

(Personal) Space Invaders: True Disney fans know that when the parks are crowded, the one and only way to get a great view of the parades is by picking a spot early… or just pushing yourself in front of those who waited and just pretend that they aren’t there. After all, your kids wanna see Mickey, right? As one poster said, “My children are just as important to me as yours are to you. If my kids are willing to find a good spot and wait an hour for the parade, then they are entitled to it.”

 

 Telling Tales: Instead of sending postcards saying “wish you were here”, more and more people simply pick up their cell phones and describe everything they’re seeing… as they’re seeing it, and with complete disregard to those around them. Sure, the Hall Of Presidents is impressive, but it’s not going to keep Dad from calling the office to find out if he won the Superbowl pool!

The Children’s Hour: Yes, keeping kids in line can be a daunting task when they are in sensory overload thanks to everything Disney has to offer. But as one Disboarder so perfectly summed up, “You brought ‘em, you control ‘em.” Seeing a child have a complete meltdown as the parents ignore the situation is bad. Hearing a parent tell an unhappy child “Mickey told me that he hates you and never wants to see you again!” — as one poster did — is worse.

 

Lighten Up: You know why they call attractions like Pirates of the Caribbean or The Haunted Mansion dark rides? Because they’re supposed to be dark. And those announcements that say “no flash photography?” Crazy as it sounds, they’re directed at you, mister “I Gotta Get A Shot Of The Dancing Ghosts!”

The Crude
I Swear: Nobody wants to spend their end-of-day monorail ride back to the hotel exlaining to Little Susie the meaning of the new words she heard today or why they really shouldn’t be used in polite society. Or why that very mean man was screaming them at Minnie Mouse.

Hammer(ed) Time: Drinking your way around EPCOT’s World Showcase always sounds like a good idea… in theory. And it’s all fun and games… until someone throws up on Test Track or decides it’d be a kick to try and climb the pyramid-like Mexican pavillion.

 

Where There’s Smoke, There’s Ire: It’s a toss-up as to which is worse: People who willingly ignore the designated smoking areas set up by Disney and puff to their hearts content wherever they see fit… or the non-puffers who, for whatever reason, plop themselves down in said smoking areas and then proceed to complain loudly about the fumes they’re being “forced” to inhale. “One woman,” shared poster CM, “pushed her stroller with a tot in it into the smoking area and, after a few minutes, started coughing and fanning herself. She proceeded to lecutres us all about smoking around her toddler!” 

Socially Unacceptable
Anytime, Anywhere: This one, my friends, is a stunner, but apparently, some people believe that the world is their toilet. More than a few Disney visitors have encouraged their children to pee in bushes or pools, and one shocked Disboarder even watched as a parent instructed their child to take a poo of the non-Winnie variety in the middle of a sidewalk in EPCOT!

 

In the end, however, it’s worth noting that while the generous folks over at the Disboards were happy to share their tales, most agreed that the secret to a successful Disney trip is to avoid letting the little stuff get you down. And in a spirit that Walt Disney himself would have no doubt admired, a poster named Jennifer — aka TheTXTaylors5 — suggested that perhaps the best way to combat heinous behavior was by setting a good example. “Why not pay it forward?” she wrote. “If one person sees someone doing something kind, like giving up a seat [on the bus] to a Mom holding a sleeping child… it would be such a better ‘civilized’ world. Being a parent, I don’t expect or feel entitled to anything, but being kind and selfless are very rewarding character traits.” And if there were more people with that attitude on the face of this earth, it would be not just a small world after all, but a better one as well.

At various points in the evening, practically everyone in the mid-sized, mid-town restaurant turned to look at the woman and her companions. Not because they were particularly well-dressed or unusually attractive, especially by Manhattan standards. But when the overly-made-up blonde threw back her head to laugh, it was a little too loud; and every few minutes, the cellphone belonging to one of her companions would emit a jarringly loud ring, inevitably triggering an extended conversation easily overheard by anyone within a three-table vicinity.

Even the coldest of winds blowing outside the restaurant on that blustery winter night couldn’t match the chill of the glares directed toward the woman and her companions, who remained either blissfully oblivious to the level of annoyance their behavior was causing or, as seemed increasingly likely, didn’t care in the least.

Despite my best efforts, their boisterous conduct eventually managed to impact my own mood and evening, leading me to join my fellow diners in shooting icy glares at the diners to absolutely no avail.

I left the restaurant with a hunger for a smackdown that went unfulfilled.

Fastforward a week or two. Another restaurant, another racous group of diners, another group of neighboring tables being disturbed by peals of loud laughter and excited exclamations.

This time, I was seated much closer to the action… right in the middle of it, in fact. I’d been out for drinks with friends and we’d decided to stop in one of our favorite restaurants for something to eat. Thanks to the good time already in progress — not to mention several rounds of cocktails — we had unwittingly become “those people.”

We were now the people at the next table.

The ones who had annoyed me only a week earlier with their loud conversation and fun-fueled frolicking. We were cackling wildly at our own jokes as we drunk dialed a friend and tweeted every thought that entered our alcohol-soaked brains.

And never did it occur to us that we’d become Those People, at least not until it was much too late and the cold glares I’d reserved for others were now being directed toward me and my fellow diners.

Like many who wind up on the receiving end of looks that could, but don’t, kill, it wasn’t our intention to disturb anyone. And had we been able to step outside ourselves and witness the scene from another perspective, I’d like to think we’d have been mortified… or at least mollified.

But the next time you’re in a situation where a tableful of diners are having a little more fun than you might like them to be having, instead of looking upon them with anger, smile and remember that almost every single one of us has been, at one point or another, in their place.

We’ve all been the people at the next table.

Remember back when Chris Brown went to the media as part of his repentance tour following his vicious attack on then-girlfriend Rhianna? The R&B singer proclaimed to anyone who’d listen that he was sorry, and that he knew actions had consequences.

Well, now that some of those consequences might be biting him in the butt — you know, where he keeps his wallet — it seems Brown is singin’ the blues.

This weekend, when fans complained on twitter that they couldn’t find his new album, Brown headed over to the local Walmart to check the situation out for himself. Finding that, sure enough, his CD wasn’t on shelves, Brown vented his frustration — in the form of some very foul language — on twitter… a site on which he’s followed by many young fans whose parents would no doubt frown upon his choice of verbiage.

“I’m tired of this s–t”, he tweeted. “major stores r blackballing my CD. not stockin the shelves ad lying to costumers. What the f–k do I gottta do.”

You mean aside from cleaning up your language and leaning the difference between customers and costumers?

Something tells us that once again, Brown’s PR team is shaking their heads and wondering why they allowed themselves to be tied to this foul-tempered nightmare of a client who obviously needs at least a little bit more proof that actions — and, for that matter, words — have consequences.

Hold up. So now, Rudolph — you know, the infamously-red-nosed reindeer — is either a girl or (gasp!) a eunich?

Seriously?

Well, suddenly that relationship between Rudolph and Hermie the dentist seems a little less… you know, suspicious. 

Apparently, scientists at Edinburgh University have come to the conclusion that Rudolph couldn’t possibly be a male reindeer because only females of the species still have their antlers at Christmas time. “Rudolph clasically is this red-nosed reindeer who is around at Christmas,” says Professor Gerald Lincoln. “We picture him in the snow with his antlers, but if you know anything about nature, you discover things are not quite so straightforward,” concludes Dr. Smarty Pants. 

What strikes me as particularly odd is that the two professors responsible for this ground-breaking “discovery” will actually present their findings during a talk on December 9.

Let me ask you this: How, exactly, have you made the world a better place by taking something as frivolous and innocent as a beloved children’s story and used science to debunk it? How about you spend more time curing cancer or AIDS and less time spouting crap about how “Rudolph could be a castrated male.” I’m pretty sure nobody wants to be thinking about that as the holiday season approaches! I mean, “Rudolph The Castrated Reindeer” doesn’t have nearly the same ring to it!

So forgive us if we ignore you, professors. We will, however, give you this lovely parting gift. Wear it proudly!

Want to see a Conservative Republican become apoplectic? Suggest that people should be allowed to make their own decisions.

They are Pro-life, not Pro-Choice. 

They rally around the Defense Of Marriage, not Equal Rights. 

They somehow think “don’t ask, don’t tell” is a better motto than “why should it matter?”

More often than not, conservatives prove they can’t be anything but right by breaking out the biggest of big guns: “God is on our side,” they will declare. Of course, just like in all of the examples above, this argument leaves no room for the possibility of dissent by those who either do not believe in God or do not accept the Daddy Fearest version put forth by those who would use him as a sword with which to smite their enemy. Their stance in all things is “my way or the highway… to hell!”

Want to see the radical right at work? 

Swing on over to the homepage of Donald Wildon’s rabidly anti-gay, anti-abortion,  anti-Democrat American Family Association and take a look at both the group’s causes and their coverage of world events. They call themselves ”America’s Largest Pro-Family Action Site,” but of course, families headed by same-sex couples need not apply. Because what they mean, silly rabbits, is pro… you know, normal families.

And trust us, they’re not above manipulating facts to make the world fit their view.

Take, for example, their long-running boycott of Pepsi for its “refusal to be neutral in the culture war over homosexuality.” Of course, neutrality isn’t really what the AFA is after, but rather, for the soda company to bend to their will. Upon learning that Pepsi had joined the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, Wildmon and company met with the corporation’s big wigs to demand that they withdrawl any and all support of the group. During similar meetings with the corporate heads of McDonald’s, Wildmon is quoted as saying “McDonald’s strongly told us that they are reaffirming their commitment to — they called it — ‘diversity.’”

Notice the quotation marks around the word diversity. The site usees that technique a lot, using quote marks to show derision toward a word such as “diversity” or “gay” when in fact the word they should be putting quotes around is “neutrality.”

Did you see what they did there? Call for “neutrality” when in fact what they meant was “side with us or we will boycott you?”

Not surprisingly, the site is extremely friendly with the Fox News Network. In fact, a recent story ended by suggesting, without a bit of irony, that “more networks follow the example of FOX, and offer balanced news with a conservative bent.” Poor things don’t realize that news with a “conservative bent” isn’t “balanced.” But at least they know it’s all a game, because the same piece goes on to say that the brand of “news” Fox puts out there is “what’s selling.”

What they, like most members of the radical right, are selling is the idea that there are two Americas: One in which heathens run around making decisions for themselves, and the one in which God-fearing people allow their lives to be controlled as if they are members of a collective. Like the Borg of Star Trek fame, they believe “resistance is futile” and “discussion is irrelevant.”  

Somehow, members of the radical right forget that this country was born of a fiery rebellion against those who thought they could force us into seeing things their way. In this scenario, the radical right is the Kingdom of Great Britain or, to continue our previous analogy, the Borg. And perhaps it is in a line from that episode of Star Trek that those who refuse to be “assimilated” can take comfort.

“[They] have neither honor nor courage. That is our greatest advantage.”

If it’s Friday, it must be time for our weekly slap-and-tickle fest (minus the tickle) known as The Hit List. Watch the grown men of Grey’s Anatomy act like children, then let’s talk about who deserves to be knocked upside the head this week! I’ll show you mine… then you show me yours!

Topping my list of people needing a good, old-fashioned slap to the head is Ohio Congressman John Boehner, who had the nerve to say that he hadn’t had a single American “lobby” him for a public option where health care reform is concerned. Now perhaps Mr. Boehner used the word “lobby” to mean “throw lots of money at a politician in the hopes of swaying him to suddenly see things your way”, but assuming he actually meant that nobody in this country has filled him in on their desire to have a public option, I’d like to slap him not upside the head, but with a flood of tweets, e-mails and phone calls to let him know just how many of us want the public option. You can tweet the Congressman at @johnboehner, hit him up on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/JohnBoehner, call him at 202-225-6205 or fax him at 202-225-0704.

Others deserving a knock on the noggin:

* New York’s Mayor Mike Bloomberg, who after eight years in which he could have dealt with the parking problems in Manhattan, is suddenly vowing to make it a priority. Not coincidentally, he’s running for election. Worse, he wrote a recent op-ed piece saying his plan might involve using your cell phone to find available parking spots. You know, the very phone that his police force can ticket you for using while driving!

* Jon Gosselin — he of the reality show Jon & Kate Plus 8 — who has, since being excised from the show (which will now be called Kate Plus 8), suddenly decided reality TV is “bad” for his kids. The disgruntled dad even went so far as to hang up signs warning that film crews would be charged with trespassing… on which he misspelled his own name. D’oh!

* The man I overheard telling his wife, via cellphone, that he’d watched a teenage boy slap and verbally berate his girlfriend. Why the man on the phone sounded proud I don’t know, but I have to feel sorry for his significant other.

That’s my list for the week… who’s topping your list of folks who need a bit of sense knocked into them, not literally, but perhaps by a little public shaming in our forum?

It’s not like you aren’t warned or as if you haven’t already paid the price, as has everyone around you.

Before every show on Broadway — tickets for which sell for over a hundred bucks a pop — a disembodied voice asks that all cellphones, pagers, beepers and other electronic devices. And yet… well, as my mama used to say, there’s one in every crowd.

And so it was that in the middle of Monday’s nights performance of A Steady Rain, a cell phone went off. Repeatedly. And frankly, full credit must be given to stars Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig for not themselves going off on the responsible audience member.

It’s worth noting that the unidentified person who caught this moment on their own cell phone doesn’t exactly earn high marks either, seeing as video and audiotaping of all such performances is illegal.

I’ve long argued that cell phones have helped contribute to the downfall of civility in this country. Thanks to them, people can talk to whomever they want wherever they want as loudly as they want, and somehow, this is considered a good thing… even if it means the people around you have to listen to graphic details about your gynecologist appointment or, in this case, be disturbed in the middle of a performance they paid good money to see.

I’d love to ask the person whose phone was ringing (and the person who was illegally taping the performance) one question: What makes you so special? Because that is, of course, what it boils down to: The offending parties made the conscious decision that the rules — of which it would be almost impossible to be ignorant — weren’t meant for them.  Somehow, it’s okay for their ringing to interrupt the performance or the glow from their illegally-recording phone to blind those behind them or for, oh, right, them to be illegally taping the performance to begin with!

Each and every time new laws are passed, you can hear people complaining about how we are “living in a police state.” Maybe what we really need is to live in a teacher state… wherein as you walk into a place where cellphones, pages and beepers are not allowed, they are taken from you and can be reclaimed after the performance.

Of course, you know some fool to whom the rules somehow don’t apply will still manage to sneak theirs in, leave it on and disturb everyone around them. In which case I say we bring them up on stage for a publicly executed, videotaped, posted-on-the-web spanking.

Maybe that’ll teach ‘em. Then again, probably not.

My friends, I come not to praise journalism, but to bury it. And appropriately enough, like last week’s fish, it will be wrapped in the pages of the New York Post, which this morning — as it does each and every day — proved that while sex sells, so does nastiness in general.

The definition of journalism is “writing characterized by the direct presentation of facts or description of events without an attempt at interpretation.” Call me crazy, but the following sentence would seem to be a tad less than objective:

“Unwelcome Libyan thug Moammar Khadafy biefly found a comfy spot to rest his foul head yesterday.”

Thug? Foul head?

The piece in question goes on to say Khadafy received “a zero’s welcome”, calls him an “international pariah” and even imply that the visiting dignitary  — which is what he is, no matter ones stance on his politics — prefers living in outhouses.

Were this an editorial — the section of a newspaper in which writers are free to opine to their hearts content — it would be a different story, but this is considered a “news story” by the good folks at the New York Post… who actually called the man a “desert rat” on the front page.

This is not an abheration but rather an every-day occurence in the pages of the popular New York City paper. Interestingly, if one flips through and looks closely at the source for stories, a distinction quickly becomes clear: Those obtained form legitimate wire services such as the Associated Press are practically offensive-adjective free while those penned in house have the lurid appeal of a tawdry romance novel.

So freely does the paper weave fact and opinion together that there seems little need for an editorial page. Given the words used to describe Khadafy in the “news” story it hardly comes as a surprise when Hugo Chavez is dubbed a “gasbag.”

This is not to say that the men in question are deserving of respect, but rather to point out that it is the job of a journalist to but aside all bias and report objectively. Perhaps the Post might want to consider hiring a few people who actually understand the difference between informing the public and bloviating. Then again, the Post is owned by good ol’ Rupert Murdoch, and if there’s one thing we know about the man — who also happens to own Fox News Channel — it’s that rhetoric and fear-mongering are far more valuable to him than facts or even, God forbid, civility.

As Murdoch’s fellow tycoon, Warren Buffet, once said, “The smarter the journalists are, the better off society is, for to a degree, people read the press to inform themselves… and the better the teacher, the better the student body.” If that’s true, I can only assume that the readers of the New York Post are what we might politely call the “special kids.”