It wasn’t all that long ago that the notion of Barbara Eden’s belly-button being exposed on I Dream Of Jeannie sent censors into a panic, or that a suburban housewife protested the risque antics of Al and Peg Bundy, despite their being Married… With Children. Now, however, it takes a lot more to get our collective panties in a bunch… which probably explains how we wound up with a plethora of incredibly rude characters populating our TV screens.
So which characters or personalities currently being invited into millions of homes on a weekly basis tend to display behavior most unbecoming of a guest? Here’s our take, in ascending order, on the 10 rudest folks on television. Take a look, and then let us know who you think should have made the cut!
10) Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory, CBS)
Look up the words “socially inappropriate” and you’ll find a picture of this theoretical physicist. To be fair, Sheldon’s worst offenses tend to revolve around his inability to understand the intricacies of human interaction and feelings. “Oh, I’m sorry,” he once reacted with genuine surprise. “Is your body mass somehow tied to your self worth?”
9) Gabrielle Solis (Desperate Housewives, ABC)
Given everything Gabrielle has been through, you’d think she might have learned a bit about empathy… and you’d be wrong. They don’t come more self-centered than this former model, who often confuses bluntness with honesty. When a friend suggested that money can’t buy happiness, Gabi set her straight by responding, “Oh, please, that’s just something we tell poor people to keep them from rioting.”
8) Chuck Bass (Gossip Girl, CW)
Chuck is the kind of guy everybody hates if only because they secretly envy his penchant for saying anything he wants… and getting away with it. But make no mistake about it: While we may love to hate the character, in real life… we’d just hate the guy.
7) Stewie Griffin (Family Guy, FOX)
Over the years, Stewie has insulted anyone and everyone to cross his path, from prostitutes (“So, is there any tread left on the tires, or at this point, would it be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?”) to his sister, Meg (“Yes, yes, this is the thing that will ruin your reputation, not your years of grotesque appearance or your awkward social graces or that Felix Ungerish way you clear your sinuses.”) We’d bend this child knee and give him a good spanking if we weren’t fairly convinced he’d get a perverse thrill out of it.
6) Bill O’Reilly (The O’Reilly Factor, FOX NEWS)
The conservative commentator and self-proclaimd “culture warrior” needs to be reminded that in polite society, people don’t yell to make their points, nor do they tell people to shut up. Nemesis Keith Olbermann of MSNBC regularly proclaims O’Reilly to be the “Worst Person In The World”, and we’d move the pinhead closer to the top of our list… if it weren’t so darn hard to take him seriously.
5) Dr. Gregory House, MD (House, FOX)
Okay, sure, the guy is a genius and the first person we’d want on the other side of the stethoscope if we came down with a rare disease. But bedside manner is definitely not his specialty. “Treating illness is why we became doctors,” he once explained to a co-worker. “Treating patients is actually what makes most doctors miserable.” On the other hand, he is an equal-opportunity offender, never forgetting to belittle those he works with as well as the patients. His typical approach? “I thought I’d get your theories, mock them, then embrace my own.” What a charmer.
4) Ari Gold (Entourage, HBO)
This ruthless agent never met an inuendo he couldn’t sexualize or an obscenity he couldn’t make dirtier. He’s offensive, obnoxious, uncouth and one of the best liars you’ll ever encounter… all of which might explain why the guy recently admitted that if he weren’t an agent, he’d have become a lawyer.
3) Simon Cowell (American Idol, FOX)
Yes, the judge is almost always correct in his assessment of the people who wind up receiving his harshest criticism. That doesn’t, however, make his declarations as to their lack of talent any less rude… or original. Every bad singer can’t be “the worst I’ve ever heard in my life.” He could take a page from the book of his much classier former boss, Nigel Lythgoe, who, when judging contestants on So You Think You Can Dance offers actual helpful criticism as opposed to nasty nuggets of negativity.
2) Michael Scott (The Office, NBC)
As with the law, ignorance of one’s rudeness is no excuse. But if it was, Michael might just get a free pass because… well, they don’t come much more ignorant. Perhaps the least self-actualized person on the planet, he wants desperately to belong and to be liked. Of course, the harder he tries, the worse he makes any given situation. Take his opening remarks at a seminar regarding sexual orientation: “The company has made it my responsibility today to put an end to 100,000 years of being weirded out by gays.” Classy.
1) Gordon Ramsay (Hell’s Kitchen, FOX)
What must it be like to become a world-renowned chef… only to be best known for yelling insults at people? Any given episode of this popular reality show finds half of the foul-mouthed foodie’s remarks being bleeped out by censors. Of course, the spittle flying from his mouth and flinching faces of those at whom it is directed give you a pretty good idea of what he’s saying. Sadly, thanks to our fascination with watching others be humiliated, Ramsay is cursing all the way to the bank.
You can thank Audrey for bringing us all together… or blame her (and her compatriots) for making this site necessary.
I didn’t know Audrey when first she inspired me, and I still don’t, but I can tell you an awful lot about her life. Like the pet name she cooes to her boyfriend and several of their favorite foods. I know what time he leaves for work in the morning and the intimate details of how she greets him upon his return.
Let’s just say it involves see-through garments, an awkward-sounding pose and a compound-adjective for her lady parts I hope never to hear again and leave it at that, shall we?
As I said, I don’t really know Audrey, but I — and several other people — got to a great deal of insight into her life during a train trip from New York to Boston during which she spent every single minute chatting to her beau – James, aka Papa Bear – on a cellphone with the longest battery life in existence.
For hours, Audrey cooed, giggled and flirted with her boyfriend, frustrating and annoying the rest of us with her seeming inability to speak in what my mama would have called an “inside voice.” Only in retrospect did I realize that Audrey was, in all likelihood, a dialogue exhibitionist. You know, the type of person who loves to hear themself speak, but loves even more to speak in front of an audience… voluntary or trapped.
In the end, however, Audrey did, as I said, inspire me. Because as she ignored any and all attempts to prove that looks can, in fact, kill (or at least silence), I couldn’t help glaring at the verbose vixen and thinking, “How rude are you?”
It wasn’t a question, but rather a declarative sentence… the kind of thing you say to yourself after someone plows into you on the sidewalk without even noticing. “Geez,” we utter, “how rude are you!”
It’s a comment that I make frequently, if silently, while making my way through the world. “How rude are you?” I think when people talk during the unspooling flick in a movie theater. The words echo in my head when someone casually tosses their garbage onto the sidewalk. And occasionally, I scream them aloud in the privacy of the car in which I’m traveling when someone with delusions of grandeur (which seem to come standard with the purchase of an Escalade) decides to violate all known traffic laws in order to establish their dominance over their fellow highwaymen.
Eventually, all that internal muttering had to result in either an ulcer or an outlet. And thus, this site was born.
Welcome to howrudeareyou.com, a respite from the Audrey’s of the world where like-minded folks can find at least a little reassurance that they aren’t the only ones out there pondering the death of civility.
Perhaps more importantly, you, too, will have an outlet. Sure, taking someone to task for their bad behavior seems like a great idea, but seeing as it often leads to violence and bloodshed, it’s not necessarily a viable option. You can, however, come here and post a citation about the Crime Against Civility which took place. Or you can read those posted by others and take comfort — kind of — in the fact that you are definitely not alone.
In the months to come, you’ll also find pieces written by a slate of contributing editors covering a wide variety of topics ranging from the rudest personas on television (yes, Simon Cowell, we’re looking at you!) to the endless battle being waged between smokers and their non-puffing brethren.
Together, we might just make a difference in the world. Or at least get a whole lot off our collective chests.
