I need to ask those of you who’ve been taking President Obama to task for shaking hands with this leader or appearing to have bowed before that one a question.
Um, I don’t wanna appear rude or anything but… are y’all morons?
"Damnit, people, I'm even nice to old geezers!"
Seriously, do you not understand the concept of civility? Or perhaps you’ve never heard of keeping your friends close, but your enemies closer?
Or did the past eight years leave you so used to a president who rolled right over the rights of his citizens — let alone those of people in other countries — that you don’t know how to react to someone who takes the high road?
"I will hold my breath until someone finds me a WMD, somewhere!"
Is this a small penis thing? Like, you fear that we’re not as well hung as some of the other countries, so you need us to strut around with a metaphorical (if none-too-subtle) club? That may have been true when Bush was in the White House, but we’ve got a black guy in there now… so chillax. He may be walking softly, but you can tell he’s carrying a big stick.
Oh, and I need to have a private word with you, Dick Cheney… could the rest of y’all just, like, avert your eyes for a sec? No need to embarrass the guy.
Okay, listen, Dick. Knock it off. I know you’ve got your heart set on making Obama look weak if only so that you’ll look more powerful to all those V.P. groupies who are having trouble overlooking your increasingly-frail appearance and Darth Vader-esque breathing. But President Obama did you a major favor this week by basically giving you and your cronies a Get Outta Jail Free card where that whole torture thing was concerned, so maybe you should stop riding him so hard. I mean, what if he decides to show everybody just how weak he’s not by listening to the swelling voice of Americans who think he’s making a mistake in not investigating and potentially prosecuting your sorry butt.
Capiche?
The rest of y’all can come back now.
So here’s the thing: Obama hasn’t even been in office for 100 days yet, and y’all are ready to criticize every single thing he’s doing. How about we make a deal: If he starts a new war, illegally listens in on America’s private conversations or defies the Geneva Convention, then have at it. I won’t say a thing.
But until then, how about you cut him just a little bit of slack?
We did things your way for eight years. Now, let’s give someone else a turn with the talking stick, shall we?
"Lord, give me the strength to deal with these idiots."
