How much lower are y’all going to sink?

I ask only so that the rest of us both know what to expect and can guage when you’ve finally hit rock bottom.  More importantly, we’d like to know when to start taking you seriously again as a political party.  Because right now, with the loudest voices of your party shouting about death panels on the radio or calling the President of the United States a liar during a joint session of Congress, the only ones rallying around your causes are Glenn Beck, the birther crowd and Boss Limbaugh. And while I know those folks make a lot of noise, what you need to realize is that theirs is a sound and fury significant of nothing.

For years, your party has played the fear card, and we’ve come to expect as much. But now, those regularly playing that card aren’t doing so with a full deck.  And the hand being dealt is one filled with jokers such as John Boehner, who never met a lie he wouldn’t echo, and Indiana’s Mike Pence, who said of Van Jones — without his tongue planted in his cheek or any indication that he understood the irony of his words — that “his extremist views and coarse rhetoric have no place in… the public debate.”

This from a party in which members still routinely trot out the repeatedly-disproven claim that President Obama is not an American citizen. Who blasted Obama’s speaking to school children as an attempt at indoctrination before hearing what he had to say, and accused him of changing the message after realizing it was the equivalent of a pep rally. Worse, Republicans are failing basic math.  Again and again, they talk about how they represent “the majority of Americans”, failing to recognize that if those words were true, they wouldn’t have lost the White House and their majority in Congress.

I get what’s going on with Republicans. Really, I do.  They’re scared.  When people who are used to being in charge lose their position of power practically over night — and worse, when the person who takes it away is not “one of them” — it’s downright terrifying.  And when people become afraid, they act out.

They lie to make themselves look better.

They use scare tactics in the hope that others will come running to them for protection from the Big Bad that is threatening to destroy their way of life.

And they get desperate, which is what’s happening now.  The party doesn’t necessarily want to be associated with the Sarah Palin’s and Joe The Plumber’s of the world, but without them, there’s not a lot left.  Rather than become more moderate and thus regain some of the many members of the party who’ve drifted away, they acknowledge that the squeaky wheel does, in fact, gets the grease — which, in this case, is media attention in general and Fox News Channel coverage in particular — and embrace a “go big or go home” approach.

But come on, kids.  This has gone on long enough.  I’d like to make a suggestion: Why not float a balloon that isn’t filled with laughing gas?  Find a moderate Republican you can send out there to make speeches and see if maybe, just maybe, the public responds to someone who doesn’t respond to everything with shouts of, “You say I’m crazy? I got your crazy!”  Who knows? Maybe, just maybe, you can find a way to get back into the game before there’s nobody left willing to shell out money to see you play.

But if not, if you guys want to keep heading down the self-destructive path on which you’ve been traveling since January, never fear… we Democrats will be more than happy to pinch hit for as long as necessary.

I need to ask those of you who’ve been taking President Obama to task for shaking  hands with this leader or appearing to have bowed before that one a question. 

Um, I don’t wanna appear rude or anything but… are y’all morons?

 

 

 

Seriously, do you not understand the concept of civility? Or perhaps you’ve never heard of keeping your friends close, but your enemies closer? 

Or did the past eight years leave you so used to a president who rolled right over the rights of his citizens — let alone those of people in other countries — that you don’t know how to react to someone who takes the high road?

 

 

 

Is this a small penis thing? Like, you fear that we’re not as well hung as some of the other countries, so you need us to strut around with a metaphorical (if none-too-subtle) club? That may have been true when Bush was in the White House, but we’ve got a black guy in there now… so chillax. He may be walking softly, but you can tell he’s carrying a big stick. 

Oh, and I need to have a private word with you, Dick Cheney… could the rest of y’all just, like, avert your eyes for a sec? No need to embarrass the guy. 

Okay, listen, Dick. Knock it off. I know you’ve got your heart set on making Obama look weak if only so that you’ll look more powerful to all those V.P. groupies who are having trouble overlooking your increasingly-frail appearance and Darth Vader-esque breathing. But President Obama did you a major favor this week by basically giving you and your cronies a Get Outta Jail Free card where that whole torture thing was concerned, so maybe you should stop riding him so hard. I mean, what if he decides to show everybody just how weak he’s not by listening to the swelling voice of Americans who think he’s making a mistake in not investigating and potentially prosecuting your sorry butt. 

Capiche? 

The rest of y’all can come back now.

So here’s the thing: Obama hasn’t even been in office for 100 days yet, and y’all are ready to criticize every single thing he’s doing. How about we make a deal: If he starts a new war, illegally listens in on America’s private conversations or defies the Geneva Convention, then have at it. I won’t say a thing.

But until then, how about you cut him just a little bit of slack?

We did things your way for eight years. Now, let’s give someone else a turn with the talking stick, shall we?

 

I’m completely tired of hearing about how it’s “my” President vs. “your” President.

Never ONCE did I say that President Bush wasn’t my President. Not ONCE. NOT ONE DAMN TIME. Not ONCE in 8 years.

Get over it. He won. He won because, if I may so boldly say, “YOUR” President sucked ass and killed the economy. Deal with it.

You and your Republican Conservative ass should actually try to pull yourself up from your real boot straps, not the advantage that you got b/c Daddy was well off. You’ve had a better life than most people in this country and the fact that you don’t see the advantages that you had growing up is the real crime here. Not the next 3 years.

If Obama’s policies suck so badly, you Republicans will be able to vote him out of office in 2012… if you can get your party together by then. Good luck with that. No, really.